Infested: Firebat where are thou

There where always rumors. Rumors about strange creatures of the dark, spreading like wildfire and sucking ones life force. I had long dismissed these as something that exist but nothing that really happens to me. I did see a dead one long ago. Or at least I though it was one. Let me tell you. The real thing, the creature of much dismay is real, alive, kicking and fucking annoying.


Having spent three days in Malaka, a destination I partly made my way to because of rumors of a tattoo artist.  Yes in addition to Melaka the cultural and historically important tourist destination for many a KL inhabitants and Singaporeans it was also the alleged quarters for whom I was looking for. Two days earlier I had seen her work on a friendly travelers back and decided that she was good enough to ink my skin. To make a short story shorter, I found her. but too late. Ending up with not enough time to procure the right ingredients for my creation and allow for healing in time for my next dive I did what every other tourist did. Explored the food and got a bit drunk with the locals. Malaka being a small town, I left after 48hours for the bustle of KL. That and a dinner date with Charles my french musketeer. I'll get back to that meal, If I remember. The main point being it was big and ended late. Leaving me to the whims of my hastily picked accommodation, the reggae hostel at the reggae bar, in Chinatown. This was where I met "the swarm". Or Bedbugs as I call them.

I do believe my person did avoid being feasted on somehow. Or rather since they had already feasted on the early napper next to me. However my luggage was not so lucky. My old and trusted backpack, brother in arms and very well worn in back warmer was officially infested. outer pockets and exterior lining for the frame was full of empty and blood filled vermin in the range of sized they come in. Fleeing the light the brown little things burrowed deeper as I squished the ones I could reach. I knew however that this was the death jerks of old trusty..

Mostly I consider my time spent in the military to be superfluous to many challenges I face in ordinary life but one thing that it thought me was to pack things individually and close all hatches, doors, zippers and such properly. In this case it did save the entire contents of my pack since the swarm needed more time to penetrate my 4+ seals of vengeance. (dry-bag, plastic bag, knots and zippers). Besides they seem to prefer less plastic surfaces for the comfort of woven textured ones.
Being to emotionally gutted by the loss of old trusty I could not bring myself (that or me being lazy) to get a new good backpack. Instead I went with the wheeled alternative. I now resemble one of those many flash packers I so despise at every "normandy" style beach landing one does when traversing paradise islands. Either way done is done. Now to figure out a proper ritual for protecting my precious artifacts from future swarms.  After all there must be an efficient protocol for keeping things bug free while traveling.

Getting in a strangers car

There are no great adventures to be had in Malaka in terms of an active lifestyle, as far as I know. So no need to venture into the wilderness and build new fortifications or anything. You know, just in case you got the urge. There is however a range of culinary treats to experience. Oh wait, something did happen. Last night when I was walking home from Geographers Cafe. As they finally suceeded in closing and throwing me out after I finally finished my bottle of South African wine I was honked at for walking in the middle of the road. But instead of being angry the driver goes:
You should not be walking  here you should be drinking more with me. Come lets have dim sum and beer! Examining the car with a quick gaze and sizing up the man I figure that even in my drunk state I'd be fine. This however was probably not true since I had half a bottle of whine + 1 glass + 3 beers. Either way we ended up having dim sum and beer early in the morning at this 24hour Chinese street dim sum place. Throwing around a mix of malay, chinese, english and sign laguage, the company was most enjoyable as was the dim sum. Time eventually cought up to my brain and a strined tiereness crept up on me as the effects of dinner coffee slowly faded away. Crazy funny Chinese guy vanished moments after he mentioned that it was time to move his body to some RnB. Me walking home dreaming about a warm shower and a bed (however mosquito ridden it may be) was the

I'd like to recommend ocean cafe which is located in the colonial parts of china town. A couple of minutes away from the old church and hosting a way more interesting repertory of sensations. I'd mainly recommend the Laksa but remain items on the menu are equally good. Some claim they make the best Laksa in Malaka.

I'm currently resting by bottom at the Geographers Cafe. A way too touristy place for my nature, or so I'd it to appear. In fact it's quite nice here. The music is nice, the interior design is nice and if it wasn't for the throngs or tourists dropping by (specially when there are large Asian tour groups) or the sometimes slow service (in western measurements (excluding places like Spain and other places where waitering is a form of sleepwalking)). The food is good though and their selection of imported beers are usually above the normal standards of Malaya watering holes.

What I really don't appreciate here is the ancient Chinese medicine stores. This because they are a large contributor to the hunting and future extinction of many rare animals. Displaying shark and other fins in their windows just makes me wanna cry.

Spending two or three days in Melaka is enough to get a feeling for the place. I've met a bunch of people the really really like the place and stay in near forever terms. Which is more than a few weeks in my book. I would consider staying here in one of the historical and cultural centers of Malaysia for several weeks only if I had some engaging projects or things to do. That, or maybe if you found a girl here. Since I've walked all over this town by now and the girl I want if definitively on a surf board fending off the kuta cowboys right now it's time to move on.
Until next time, at a destination not yet decided but very plausibly containing good food.

White Beaches for Old Buildings

Getting to Malaka during the morning hours one is quickly offered a myriad of taxi services. Red cab with white parts, white cab with red parts, red cab, broken cab. Dodging the most generous offers of transportation I fled into the supermarket a few feet away. Fleeing might be a strong word as they services offered weren't that much pushed in your face as one might except having traversed places like KL, Jakarta or Bali.
A short stop to hydrate and sodium replenishment after the morning buss from KL and the night buss from Mersing clearly boosted my ability to focus and I could now not only think about how to get to China Town but also divide my mind to also think of where to get my next ice cream. Breathtaking, no?
From Melaka Sentral which is just on the other side of the road from where the buss will drop you off one can get bus 17 which usually leaves from stop 6 or 7 which will take you to china town. The fare should be 1RM.

The majority of hostels, and budget hotels are located in the china town area close to most the old colonial architecture as well as historic places. Seeking out a hostel called Jalan Jalan (which means, walk walk, road road or travel in Malay) I soaked in the energies of Melaka and instantly liked it, a lot. This is a place where I can rest and relax for a while. Forget the world and blend in to the landscape of Chinese shrines, dim sum shops and old colonial style buildings. Although my sack of gold is a rather small one the innkeeper's demands for a budget traveler are.

• Dorm with fan 14RM
• Dorm with AC 18RM

For me the big bonuses here are that there are

• No bed bugs =) yay!
• Cheap
• At a central Location
• Free Wifi
• Hot Water Shower
• Clean toilets
• Nice staff
• Friendly travelers

And the big downers are

• mosquitoes
• the wifi can be a bit bouncy at times

Although beer is more expensive here than my last destination certain objects of decadence are available. In fact yesterday I went out and satisfied my human urges. And a damn good Magnum ice cream it was. It fit perfectly after the Indian food I had at Pak Putra. Locally famous for it's naan and chicken tandoori they also demonstrate a ability to produce grade a dishes in all varieties. I'd recommend some family style street dining here to make sure you get a little bit of everything. However if you time it perfectly for dinner you will be waiting for a while as it's a popular places and orders can be delayed for up to 1-2 hours at rush time.

A local amusement of mine is the rickshaws, fancy decorations and a even fancier audio system is sure to entertain. Pumping out loud music, usually sticking to a theme they differentiate themselves from the rest. So far I've definitively caught Michel Jackson, Dangdut, Heavy Metal and naturally the mainstream Malay pop/love songs. Me I'd go with any rickshaw playing jack Johnson even if I don't need to go anywhere. I'll definitively trade white beaches for old buildings in Malaka most days. 

The Man Who Was a Bird; Backpacking Pulau Tioman

If your version of a paradise island is long white beaches, turquoise waters and rain forest covered mountains with a sprinkle of heavy sunlight, Tioman is the place for you. Offering fair diving and some jungle trekking one could spend several days here. Unless one is me that is. For me it's gets old quite fast and after a few strolls in the jungle and a dives in the ocean it turns mundane. A hard life, I know.

For a short getaway this destination fits like a glove.

Walking along Juara Beach

For budget travelers the ABC or air batang beach and harbour area is the way to go. Salang used to be the place but not caters mainly to Asian families and travelers from Singapore. There are still a bit of young blood here though. Even though the island was fully booked and people had a trouble finding accommodation the beaches felt almost empty so there is definitely room for some solitary time if one wishes. In ABC there aren't too man y places to go after late a clock. Things close early and that includes the bars, all two of the. Well there are a few more but the only ones I'd recommend are sunset bar at the southern end of ABC and the B&J dive bar a couple of minutes north of the pier. Getting to Tioman will cost you 45 or 35 RM depending on if you take the first ferry or not. The early one is 10RM more expensive. But it will give you an advantage over the other backpackers when securing housing.

Guarding the guesthouse

In terms of diving I encountered four dive shops but only looked into two of them. Eco divers and B&J dive center. Eco divers being the cheaper one I'd have normally gone with them since I'm quite self sufficient in the blue. However it turned out that two of my dive buddies from Koh Lanta, Thailand now worked at B&J. Did my diving with these guys and they seemed to run a good shop. At lest first. One day a dive master didn't turn up so we dove with one Dive Master(DM) short. No biggie, but I did have to haul a OW diver back down and hand him almost 4kg of weights for him to stay down. Still there was some nice diving to be done. I'd say it was on par with the perhentians, gili trawangan and koh lanta/phi phi.

My two French musketeers

Accommodation is quite easy to find. Getting of the Pier the cheaper places are to the south and the tad more costly are to the north. There are exceptions though. I'd stay away from Johan's since there are bedbugs there at the moment. I ended up staying at merwas or some place with a similar name for a staggering 30RM per night for my own bungalow with a big bed and a fan. The veranda with my own little ocean sunset view was definitely an added bonus. There was only cold water but in this heat I'm not one to complain, much.

Considering that this is one of the cheapest places to buy alcohol in Malaysia the nightlife is near pathetic. During happy hours (5pm-7pm)at sunset bar you will get 3 tiger beers for 10 RM which is damn good for Malaysia. If one feels frisky enough (I did) to traverse the little hill separating ABC from the neighbouring town to the south one can find a couple of duty free stores selling alcohol much cheaper. I scored 3 Hogarden for 10RM or 5 Jazz beer for 10 RM. There are also crates for sale at discount prices. Vodka, whine and other spirits are also cheap, for Malaysia. 45RM for a big bottle of Absolute Vodka or 120RM for some champagne.

There is only one accessible ATM than I know of and it's located about 20 meters north of the airport. No fees are declared on the machine which refers to fees online, somewhere. Dive centers will charge you 3% for card payment so if you can withdraw money without fees in your previous destination it might be a good choice.

When it comes to the beaches the Juara beach is in my opinion the best one I've tried here. It's long white shores are purely sand but can have hints of organic(seaweed and such) degree at times. The second beach I'll recommend is Salang which have some nice sandy beaches with proper snorkeling not far away. The ABC beach is by far the lesser one is this trio of comparison with plenty of little rocks. It is however very nice for snorkeling and and other water activities like sailing and windsurfing. There is no really strong wind though so don't expect anything mind blowing. After all we are on a rest and relaxation trip.

The Juara Path's stream

Walking around the island is an option for the hardy but is quite rewarding for nature loves and people with ants in their pants (like me). The Juara trek is a 7km mountain forest trek which means a lot of steps and ups and downs. There is a small stream close to the drinking water station which one might play around in. Not sure if this is entirely advised by the local administration though. From ABC it's definitely another 1-1-5k to the beginning of the trail. So walking one way or taking a return trip will be a while. I'd book 2-3hours, one way minimum. There is also a route for 4WD vehicles on which one might stroll. This route is a fair bit longer. I'd guess 4km longer from ABC.
Another green hike is the one to monkey bay. Somewhat shorter than the Juara one but I never got around to walking it. It is however rumored the monkey bay is quite the looker when it comes to beaches. Walking around one should keep those eyes open. There are plenty of snakes and large reptiles around. I only spotted one two meter long black snake but king cobras and boas are known to show up in the area. Did spot a 1.5 meter long lizard swimming around though. In fact it's said that the reason there are so few cats on the island is  because they become reptile food if they stray too far. The native monkeys in the island don't seem to share this problem and there are plenty of them to steal a bit of fruit if left unattended. Another addition to the wildlife is the range of raptors (birds) that roam the islands. The legend goes that once when a British traveler visited the island he pointed at it and asked what it was named. A local responded with "Tio" I am, referring to the black bird. This being pronounced "Tioman" the explorer understood it as the name of the island and so it got it's name.  

The Bodyguard

One night in KL I got some info of where there where some latin dancing to be done. I figured that it might be a good opportunity to learn something. So I make a shutout on some online forums to see what happens. Suddenly I get a text with some info on a souk club. Ok, latin dancing here we go was my thoughts.

This was wrong.

During my after-work with my buddy in KL the unknown souk specialist shows up. On his walk I can tell that he is no dancer. Well that or he's a real good a shape shifting. But who knows maybe I'm wrong? (I wasn't). After a little awkward conversation it turns out that the souk club or "club zouk" is not at all a latin dance club. But they do have free drink during a few early hours tonight. So he suggests that we hit up that place before 20:00. We decide that that is way too early and that we should go check out twenty one despite his puppy eyes and black tee with a naked lady on. In fact this graphic t-shirt was the only thing that would give away and otherwise uncanny similarity to a bodyguards appearence in KL. Having shaved his head with a bulls neck, stiff walk and a tendency to not speak while walking a step after us or a step ahead of us it really did look like we had our own bodyguard. So much in fact that we where at first asked if this was the case. Later that night it was just assumed and not even asked any more. It was quite amusing to my inner self when asked who my friends where I responded that's my buddy A and that's the body guard. The amusing part was that no one questioned this. This was something natural. Obviously a 25 year old dude has his own bodyguard. No I'm not 25 but people tend to thing I'm about that age. All in all it was a strange experience. Highly amusing but strange, oh and also quite baller.

What kind of society requires one to have a body guard when going to a bar like the Hilton anyway. Well maybe like Jakarta and of course Kuala Lumpur obviously.

That guy should seriously think about changing professions though. I'm sure you get better pay as bodyguard than a bookstore clerk...

The Holy Book

There are certainly a few way to look at the world. One way is to have faith, or trust in something. Quite a few people trust their holy books, which ever it might be. Christians, Jews, Islamist or Backpackers, yes Backpackers. Although this topic would possible invite to a rant about religion and logic it will not. This time I'd like to share my fascination with effects of holy books like the rough guide or lonely planet. Undoubtedly these books are read by almost every mainstream backpacker I see. And mostly they follow it's recommendations blindly, often missing out on exploring hidden gems. It's true however that they mostly end up safe and sound avoiding many of the hazards. But then what is backpacking all about. Traveling cheaply or trying to find that unexplored and to you, unique path?

Maybe it's more about having a good experience that is very similar to other people's and friends' good experiences so they can compare experiences and decide that this is what it's all about. I know for sure that the Swedish backpacking comunity or maybe more the Swedish backpacking experience is incredible similar. After all we are one of the most homogeneous cultures out there, despite what many of us would like to think. It is not just my fellow Swedes though I see the throngs of young budget travelers gather in the same spots every time. The event that got me thinking about it this time was when I visited the old reggae bar in china town, KL. I went there with a friend who suggested it. It did have a good ambiance but not near enough to attract that many travelers on it's own. As I see a couple of people stopping outside one by one, unleashing the power of the loneley planet and reading about just this place before they sit down, it becomes obvious how powerful this book is. In fact in this area I saw more young budget travelers (often displaying bags on their backs in all sizes and colours) in 10 minutes than my previous 15 days or so in Kuala Lumpur. Mind you it's not like I've been looked up inside a hotel room or anything. I've been out and about exploring the city, with the locals.

I'd like to tell people to throw away their holy books and look at the world for themselfs. But I know how hard it can be and how comforting it is to have all the awnsers written down for you. That way you don't have to think so much and struggle so much with the hard questions in life. Like where to sleep, eat and what to see and do. I know the one place I could have used one of these holy books was in China where it was more than a bit troublesome to communicate. My solution was inspiered by something my dad did when we where traveling around europe as kids. He drew a toiletpaper roll. I'm not quite sure why. After all I was quite young but I'd assume it was an atempt to find one. My solution was to draw cartoons persorming the action we wanted to do in addition to drawing pictures of objects. This worked out just fine. We even managed to get an article in the local newspaper about us. And I'm quite sure I'll remember those times a lot more than the ones where I have followed a holy books guides. So just consider not bringing those books and just go with the flow. I know a bunch of you have already discovered this way of exploring and I'd like to recomend the rest of you to try it too.

A Random Ticket

Coming back from Singapore (SG) I enjoyed my two days of rest and relaxation (RnR)in KL. Spending way too much money in SG (90 Singapore dollar per night) for a hotel room I could feel the equation "time=money" quickly morphing into "time = money^2". In fact I had booked another ticket for SG only two days after I had came back from there. This was a result of my unscheduled first visit to SG. The original visit (chronological visit no2) was in fact booked about six months ago. I however did not feel like going back there so soon. Neither did I feel like staying in KL so there was only one choice. Get a ticket to somewhere.

Checking for cheap flight to anywhere with budget airlines like Berjaya air and AirAsia I fond little that I could catch the same day. One flight to the Similan islands I only missed with about two hours. Going with my backup plan and hitting up the buss terminal I found a couple of tickets. There where many ticket but mine ended up taking me to Mersing. A coastal dump on the east coast. With no great purpose except getting people to Tioman or giving them bedbugs(in my opinion) it won't provide much of a notice for most travelers. For me, it was a charming place. I don't know about you but I can just feel the nothingness and dirt oozing out of the little allies. It felt genuine, not like the bars at Clark Quay, Singapore or Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur which are like a mix of real bar districts and Disneyland or real bars and a slum in KL's case.

Hopefully I'll find some time on this next "Random Paradise Island" to write a few lines about what life there entails. And if you guys have any suggestions of where to go next I'm definitively open to some new destinations.