Infested: Firebat where are thou

There where always rumors. Rumors about strange creatures of the dark, spreading like wildfire and sucking ones life force. I had long dismissed these as something that exist but nothing that really happens to me. I did see a dead one long ago. Or at least I though it was one. Let me tell you. The real thing, the creature of much dismay is real, alive, kicking and fucking annoying.


Having spent three days in Malaka, a destination I partly made my way to because of rumors of a tattoo artist.  Yes in addition to Melaka the cultural and historically important tourist destination for many a KL inhabitants and Singaporeans it was also the alleged quarters for whom I was looking for. Two days earlier I had seen her work on a friendly travelers back and decided that she was good enough to ink my skin. To make a short story shorter, I found her. but too late. Ending up with not enough time to procure the right ingredients for my creation and allow for healing in time for my next dive I did what every other tourist did. Explored the food and got a bit drunk with the locals. Malaka being a small town, I left after 48hours for the bustle of KL. That and a dinner date with Charles my french musketeer. I'll get back to that meal, If I remember. The main point being it was big and ended late. Leaving me to the whims of my hastily picked accommodation, the reggae hostel at the reggae bar, in Chinatown. This was where I met "the swarm". Or Bedbugs as I call them.

I do believe my person did avoid being feasted on somehow. Or rather since they had already feasted on the early napper next to me. However my luggage was not so lucky. My old and trusted backpack, brother in arms and very well worn in back warmer was officially infested. outer pockets and exterior lining for the frame was full of empty and blood filled vermin in the range of sized they come in. Fleeing the light the brown little things burrowed deeper as I squished the ones I could reach. I knew however that this was the death jerks of old trusty..

Mostly I consider my time spent in the military to be superfluous to many challenges I face in ordinary life but one thing that it thought me was to pack things individually and close all hatches, doors, zippers and such properly. In this case it did save the entire contents of my pack since the swarm needed more time to penetrate my 4+ seals of vengeance. (dry-bag, plastic bag, knots and zippers). Besides they seem to prefer less plastic surfaces for the comfort of woven textured ones.
Being to emotionally gutted by the loss of old trusty I could not bring myself (that or me being lazy) to get a new good backpack. Instead I went with the wheeled alternative. I now resemble one of those many flash packers I so despise at every "normandy" style beach landing one does when traversing paradise islands. Either way done is done. Now to figure out a proper ritual for protecting my precious artifacts from future swarms.  After all there must be an efficient protocol for keeping things bug free while traveling.

Getting in a strangers car

There are no great adventures to be had in Malaka in terms of an active lifestyle, as far as I know. So no need to venture into the wilderness and build new fortifications or anything. You know, just in case you got the urge. There is however a range of culinary treats to experience. Oh wait, something did happen. Last night when I was walking home from Geographers Cafe. As they finally suceeded in closing and throwing me out after I finally finished my bottle of South African wine I was honked at for walking in the middle of the road. But instead of being angry the driver goes:
You should not be walking  here you should be drinking more with me. Come lets have dim sum and beer! Examining the car with a quick gaze and sizing up the man I figure that even in my drunk state I'd be fine. This however was probably not true since I had half a bottle of whine + 1 glass + 3 beers. Either way we ended up having dim sum and beer early in the morning at this 24hour Chinese street dim sum place. Throwing around a mix of malay, chinese, english and sign laguage, the company was most enjoyable as was the dim sum. Time eventually cought up to my brain and a strined tiereness crept up on me as the effects of dinner coffee slowly faded away. Crazy funny Chinese guy vanished moments after he mentioned that it was time to move his body to some RnB. Me walking home dreaming about a warm shower and a bed (however mosquito ridden it may be) was the

I'd like to recommend ocean cafe which is located in the colonial parts of china town. A couple of minutes away from the old church and hosting a way more interesting repertory of sensations. I'd mainly recommend the Laksa but remain items on the menu are equally good. Some claim they make the best Laksa in Malaka.

I'm currently resting by bottom at the Geographers Cafe. A way too touristy place for my nature, or so I'd it to appear. In fact it's quite nice here. The music is nice, the interior design is nice and if it wasn't for the throngs or tourists dropping by (specially when there are large Asian tour groups) or the sometimes slow service (in western measurements (excluding places like Spain and other places where waitering is a form of sleepwalking)). The food is good though and their selection of imported beers are usually above the normal standards of Malaya watering holes.

What I really don't appreciate here is the ancient Chinese medicine stores. This because they are a large contributor to the hunting and future extinction of many rare animals. Displaying shark and other fins in their windows just makes me wanna cry.

Spending two or three days in Melaka is enough to get a feeling for the place. I've met a bunch of people the really really like the place and stay in near forever terms. Which is more than a few weeks in my book. I would consider staying here in one of the historical and cultural centers of Malaysia for several weeks only if I had some engaging projects or things to do. That, or maybe if you found a girl here. Since I've walked all over this town by now and the girl I want if definitively on a surf board fending off the kuta cowboys right now it's time to move on.
Until next time, at a destination not yet decided but very plausibly containing good food.

White Beaches for Old Buildings

Getting to Malaka during the morning hours one is quickly offered a myriad of taxi services. Red cab with white parts, white cab with red parts, red cab, broken cab. Dodging the most generous offers of transportation I fled into the supermarket a few feet away. Fleeing might be a strong word as they services offered weren't that much pushed in your face as one might except having traversed places like KL, Jakarta or Bali.
A short stop to hydrate and sodium replenishment after the morning buss from KL and the night buss from Mersing clearly boosted my ability to focus and I could now not only think about how to get to China Town but also divide my mind to also think of where to get my next ice cream. Breathtaking, no?
From Melaka Sentral which is just on the other side of the road from where the buss will drop you off one can get bus 17 which usually leaves from stop 6 or 7 which will take you to china town. The fare should be 1RM.

The majority of hostels, and budget hotels are located in the china town area close to most the old colonial architecture as well as historic places. Seeking out a hostel called Jalan Jalan (which means, walk walk, road road or travel in Malay) I soaked in the energies of Melaka and instantly liked it, a lot. This is a place where I can rest and relax for a while. Forget the world and blend in to the landscape of Chinese shrines, dim sum shops and old colonial style buildings. Although my sack of gold is a rather small one the innkeeper's demands for a budget traveler are.

• Dorm with fan 14RM
• Dorm with AC 18RM

For me the big bonuses here are that there are

• No bed bugs =) yay!
• Cheap
• At a central Location
• Free Wifi
• Hot Water Shower
• Clean toilets
• Nice staff
• Friendly travelers

And the big downers are

• mosquitoes
• the wifi can be a bit bouncy at times

Although beer is more expensive here than my last destination certain objects of decadence are available. In fact yesterday I went out and satisfied my human urges. And a damn good Magnum ice cream it was. It fit perfectly after the Indian food I had at Pak Putra. Locally famous for it's naan and chicken tandoori they also demonstrate a ability to produce grade a dishes in all varieties. I'd recommend some family style street dining here to make sure you get a little bit of everything. However if you time it perfectly for dinner you will be waiting for a while as it's a popular places and orders can be delayed for up to 1-2 hours at rush time.

A local amusement of mine is the rickshaws, fancy decorations and a even fancier audio system is sure to entertain. Pumping out loud music, usually sticking to a theme they differentiate themselves from the rest. So far I've definitively caught Michel Jackson, Dangdut, Heavy Metal and naturally the mainstream Malay pop/love songs. Me I'd go with any rickshaw playing jack Johnson even if I don't need to go anywhere. I'll definitively trade white beaches for old buildings in Malaka most days. 

The Man Who Was a Bird; Backpacking Pulau Tioman

If your version of a paradise island is long white beaches, turquoise waters and rain forest covered mountains with a sprinkle of heavy sunlight, Tioman is the place for you. Offering fair diving and some jungle trekking one could spend several days here. Unless one is me that is. For me it's gets old quite fast and after a few strolls in the jungle and a dives in the ocean it turns mundane. A hard life, I know.

For a short getaway this destination fits like a glove.

Walking along Juara Beach

For budget travelers the ABC or air batang beach and harbour area is the way to go. Salang used to be the place but not caters mainly to Asian families and travelers from Singapore. There are still a bit of young blood here though. Even though the island was fully booked and people had a trouble finding accommodation the beaches felt almost empty so there is definitely room for some solitary time if one wishes. In ABC there aren't too man y places to go after late a clock. Things close early and that includes the bars, all two of the. Well there are a few more but the only ones I'd recommend are sunset bar at the southern end of ABC and the B&J dive bar a couple of minutes north of the pier. Getting to Tioman will cost you 45 or 35 RM depending on if you take the first ferry or not. The early one is 10RM more expensive. But it will give you an advantage over the other backpackers when securing housing.

Guarding the guesthouse

In terms of diving I encountered four dive shops but only looked into two of them. Eco divers and B&J dive center. Eco divers being the cheaper one I'd have normally gone with them since I'm quite self sufficient in the blue. However it turned out that two of my dive buddies from Koh Lanta, Thailand now worked at B&J. Did my diving with these guys and they seemed to run a good shop. At lest first. One day a dive master didn't turn up so we dove with one Dive Master(DM) short. No biggie, but I did have to haul a OW diver back down and hand him almost 4kg of weights for him to stay down. Still there was some nice diving to be done. I'd say it was on par with the perhentians, gili trawangan and koh lanta/phi phi.

My two French musketeers

Accommodation is quite easy to find. Getting of the Pier the cheaper places are to the south and the tad more costly are to the north. There are exceptions though. I'd stay away from Johan's since there are bedbugs there at the moment. I ended up staying at merwas or some place with a similar name for a staggering 30RM per night for my own bungalow with a big bed and a fan. The veranda with my own little ocean sunset view was definitely an added bonus. There was only cold water but in this heat I'm not one to complain, much.

Considering that this is one of the cheapest places to buy alcohol in Malaysia the nightlife is near pathetic. During happy hours (5pm-7pm)at sunset bar you will get 3 tiger beers for 10 RM which is damn good for Malaysia. If one feels frisky enough (I did) to traverse the little hill separating ABC from the neighbouring town to the south one can find a couple of duty free stores selling alcohol much cheaper. I scored 3 Hogarden for 10RM or 5 Jazz beer for 10 RM. There are also crates for sale at discount prices. Vodka, whine and other spirits are also cheap, for Malaysia. 45RM for a big bottle of Absolute Vodka or 120RM for some champagne.

There is only one accessible ATM than I know of and it's located about 20 meters north of the airport. No fees are declared on the machine which refers to fees online, somewhere. Dive centers will charge you 3% for card payment so if you can withdraw money without fees in your previous destination it might be a good choice.

When it comes to the beaches the Juara beach is in my opinion the best one I've tried here. It's long white shores are purely sand but can have hints of organic(seaweed and such) degree at times. The second beach I'll recommend is Salang which have some nice sandy beaches with proper snorkeling not far away. The ABC beach is by far the lesser one is this trio of comparison with plenty of little rocks. It is however very nice for snorkeling and and other water activities like sailing and windsurfing. There is no really strong wind though so don't expect anything mind blowing. After all we are on a rest and relaxation trip.

The Juara Path's stream

Walking around the island is an option for the hardy but is quite rewarding for nature loves and people with ants in their pants (like me). The Juara trek is a 7km mountain forest trek which means a lot of steps and ups and downs. There is a small stream close to the drinking water station which one might play around in. Not sure if this is entirely advised by the local administration though. From ABC it's definitely another 1-1-5k to the beginning of the trail. So walking one way or taking a return trip will be a while. I'd book 2-3hours, one way minimum. There is also a route for 4WD vehicles on which one might stroll. This route is a fair bit longer. I'd guess 4km longer from ABC.
Another green hike is the one to monkey bay. Somewhat shorter than the Juara one but I never got around to walking it. It is however rumored the monkey bay is quite the looker when it comes to beaches. Walking around one should keep those eyes open. There are plenty of snakes and large reptiles around. I only spotted one two meter long black snake but king cobras and boas are known to show up in the area. Did spot a 1.5 meter long lizard swimming around though. In fact it's said that the reason there are so few cats on the island is  because they become reptile food if they stray too far. The native monkeys in the island don't seem to share this problem and there are plenty of them to steal a bit of fruit if left unattended. Another addition to the wildlife is the range of raptors (birds) that roam the islands. The legend goes that once when a British traveler visited the island he pointed at it and asked what it was named. A local responded with "Tio" I am, referring to the black bird. This being pronounced "Tioman" the explorer understood it as the name of the island and so it got it's name.  

The Bodyguard

One night in KL I got some info of where there where some latin dancing to be done. I figured that it might be a good opportunity to learn something. So I make a shutout on some online forums to see what happens. Suddenly I get a text with some info on a souk club. Ok, latin dancing here we go was my thoughts.

This was wrong.

During my after-work with my buddy in KL the unknown souk specialist shows up. On his walk I can tell that he is no dancer. Well that or he's a real good a shape shifting. But who knows maybe I'm wrong? (I wasn't). After a little awkward conversation it turns out that the souk club or "club zouk" is not at all a latin dance club. But they do have free drink during a few early hours tonight. So he suggests that we hit up that place before 20:00. We decide that that is way too early and that we should go check out twenty one despite his puppy eyes and black tee with a naked lady on. In fact this graphic t-shirt was the only thing that would give away and otherwise uncanny similarity to a bodyguards appearence in KL. Having shaved his head with a bulls neck, stiff walk and a tendency to not speak while walking a step after us or a step ahead of us it really did look like we had our own bodyguard. So much in fact that we where at first asked if this was the case. Later that night it was just assumed and not even asked any more. It was quite amusing to my inner self when asked who my friends where I responded that's my buddy A and that's the body guard. The amusing part was that no one questioned this. This was something natural. Obviously a 25 year old dude has his own bodyguard. No I'm not 25 but people tend to thing I'm about that age. All in all it was a strange experience. Highly amusing but strange, oh and also quite baller.

What kind of society requires one to have a body guard when going to a bar like the Hilton anyway. Well maybe like Jakarta and of course Kuala Lumpur obviously.

That guy should seriously think about changing professions though. I'm sure you get better pay as bodyguard than a bookstore clerk...

The Holy Book

There are certainly a few way to look at the world. One way is to have faith, or trust in something. Quite a few people trust their holy books, which ever it might be. Christians, Jews, Islamist or Backpackers, yes Backpackers. Although this topic would possible invite to a rant about religion and logic it will not. This time I'd like to share my fascination with effects of holy books like the rough guide or lonely planet. Undoubtedly these books are read by almost every mainstream backpacker I see. And mostly they follow it's recommendations blindly, often missing out on exploring hidden gems. It's true however that they mostly end up safe and sound avoiding many of the hazards. But then what is backpacking all about. Traveling cheaply or trying to find that unexplored and to you, unique path?

Maybe it's more about having a good experience that is very similar to other people's and friends' good experiences so they can compare experiences and decide that this is what it's all about. I know for sure that the Swedish backpacking comunity or maybe more the Swedish backpacking experience is incredible similar. After all we are one of the most homogeneous cultures out there, despite what many of us would like to think. It is not just my fellow Swedes though I see the throngs of young budget travelers gather in the same spots every time. The event that got me thinking about it this time was when I visited the old reggae bar in china town, KL. I went there with a friend who suggested it. It did have a good ambiance but not near enough to attract that many travelers on it's own. As I see a couple of people stopping outside one by one, unleashing the power of the loneley planet and reading about just this place before they sit down, it becomes obvious how powerful this book is. In fact in this area I saw more young budget travelers (often displaying bags on their backs in all sizes and colours) in 10 minutes than my previous 15 days or so in Kuala Lumpur. Mind you it's not like I've been looked up inside a hotel room or anything. I've been out and about exploring the city, with the locals.

I'd like to tell people to throw away their holy books and look at the world for themselfs. But I know how hard it can be and how comforting it is to have all the awnsers written down for you. That way you don't have to think so much and struggle so much with the hard questions in life. Like where to sleep, eat and what to see and do. I know the one place I could have used one of these holy books was in China where it was more than a bit troublesome to communicate. My solution was inspiered by something my dad did when we where traveling around europe as kids. He drew a toiletpaper roll. I'm not quite sure why. After all I was quite young but I'd assume it was an atempt to find one. My solution was to draw cartoons persorming the action we wanted to do in addition to drawing pictures of objects. This worked out just fine. We even managed to get an article in the local newspaper about us. And I'm quite sure I'll remember those times a lot more than the ones where I have followed a holy books guides. So just consider not bringing those books and just go with the flow. I know a bunch of you have already discovered this way of exploring and I'd like to recomend the rest of you to try it too.

A Random Ticket

Coming back from Singapore (SG) I enjoyed my two days of rest and relaxation (RnR)in KL. Spending way too much money in SG (90 Singapore dollar per night) for a hotel room I could feel the equation "time=money" quickly morphing into "time = money^2". In fact I had booked another ticket for SG only two days after I had came back from there. This was a result of my unscheduled first visit to SG. The original visit (chronological visit no2) was in fact booked about six months ago. I however did not feel like going back there so soon. Neither did I feel like staying in KL so there was only one choice. Get a ticket to somewhere.

Checking for cheap flight to anywhere with budget airlines like Berjaya air and AirAsia I fond little that I could catch the same day. One flight to the Similan islands I only missed with about two hours. Going with my backup plan and hitting up the buss terminal I found a couple of tickets. There where many ticket but mine ended up taking me to Mersing. A coastal dump on the east coast. With no great purpose except getting people to Tioman or giving them bedbugs(in my opinion) it won't provide much of a notice for most travelers. For me, it was a charming place. I don't know about you but I can just feel the nothingness and dirt oozing out of the little allies. It felt genuine, not like the bars at Clark Quay, Singapore or Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur which are like a mix of real bar districts and Disneyland or real bars and a slum in KL's case.

Hopefully I'll find some time on this next "Random Paradise Island" to write a few lines about what life there entails. And if you guys have any suggestions of where to go next I'm definitively open to some new destinations.

That Singaporean

The state of Singapore is a well known state. It broke off or was kicked out of Malaysia and has been economically quite successful since, much to the Malaysian governments annoyance. But who are the Singaporeans  During my visits to Singapore I've me extremely few hardcore Singaporeans. In fact it wasn't untill my last night in Singapore that I met my first true Singaporean. Before this I tried a few different places.

Night life

Night life in singapore is vivid and definetly doing its thing. The streets are filled with people and music is flowing out onto the streets from the many speakers inside all of the clubs and bars. The people though are mostly expats. This must be the place with the highest density of forrigners anywhere in asia. Those who aren't expats are tourists and a few local singaporeans could easily be statistically discarded in this sea of non-Singaporeans.

China Town

Although there are plenty of chinese people here I'm not sure if they are locals. After all the onces I've tried interacting with usually had some story of originally coming from somewhere else. And the once I failed talking to only spoke some form of chinese. Hence can they really be singaporean. Official language being englisha and all?

Random people on the street

We could have met some Singaporeans here but I guess we didn't interact with too many random people. We did however find a a chinese looking guy working for shell who was most unfriendly. Maybe this is the true singaporean? Bitter, tiered and working at a gas station? Somehow I doubt it.

A house party

Americans, Germans, Norwegian, Swedish, Indian, Indonesian, Australian, New Zealanders, Pakistani, Finish, and finally A singaporean!! Ok they had grown up somewhere else. Studied somewhere else and I think lived somewhere else. No this does not qualify one to be a true singaporean. Where was that grass root singaporean who I was looking for.

After going here and there trying to find one I finally gave up. Maybe those Singaporeans that I interacted with during my time at the Royal Instetute of Technology in Sweden where going to be the only ones I would get to meet. Sad. After all I should have met one here in Singapore.

Giving up and going for a last meal in Little India close to our hotel it happened. Joking around and having a generally good time, except for the fact I the search for a Singaporean utterly failed I apparently charmed one. Born and raised in Singapore, owning a bar and having a reunion with one of his old army buddies I found him. The Singaporean. The singaporean is a middle aged man of Indian origin with a love of food. Thank you mr.Singaporean man for treating us to chocolate cake.

The High School Party

I recently attended a high school party. Well not really. The apartment was a little too baller for that and there was no mom and dad that would come home. Age wise I think most people should have been out of collage but it was still a high school party.

It was not what I was expecting but it was a nice opportunity to observe. As the night went on the music became louder. The conversation became less audible and less coherent. But what was interesting was the interactions fueled by sexual drives. getting laid was definitively in the air. Or in a lot of boys minds anyway.

Hour 1

The crowd is divided into groups of girls and boys with a few mixed ones. quite a random mix.

Hour 2

A few more beers has been consumed. The DJ has increased the volume with a good 15%. A good portion of the boys are scanning for pray. A few girls are doing the same.

Hour 3

More than a few sips of alcohol later it's quite clear who is looking for some action. The girls on the prowl definitively have had a few too many but they are still kinda functional. The boys are displaying the characteristic change in interpersonal skills. Volume has increased with another 25%.

The interesting part is taking place during hour 3 and 4 of interest. This is where a gradual change of approach is noticeable. From shy or maybe overly humoristic and clearly masked approach to start with and ending up with a near verbal nincompoop for intelligent responses using mainly body language to charm the ladies. The lack in ability to read the opposite visual response leads to a dance roughly described with the following example.

1. Person A: leans forward says something he already said a few times and tries to smile.
2. Person B: moves away a little but tries to listen anyway
3. Person A: moves closer and asked for some irrelevant detail
4. Person B: moves away and interacts a little with a nearby bystander, or a fried, or a boyfriend
5. Person A: tries to move in close to break the personal space
6. Person B moves away
7. Person A tries again or changes targets

After all sometimes it leads to success. Sometimes the initial success is aborted and proceeds to intimate relations with the toilet bowl. Then Person A or B might try again. Or not. Either way, the relationship between alcohol consumed, degradation of verbal skills and rise in confidence is interesting. Where is the golden balance? Where is the tipping point of where one shall not go any further?

We did stay a little longer than this tipping point for sure. But left quite swiftly as large parts of the premises became occupied by high-schoolers. 

Naturally this did not happen to all of the visitors. But to enough for me to notice. The rest of the gathering was very nice and I did have a few good conversations with random people from, well everywhere.

Beware of the dangers outside the BOX.

I was lucky enough to time my arrival in sigapore with the opening of a new terminal at woodlands trainstation. But I was a little dissapointed by the meagere lavishness decorating the welcoming of Singaporean ministers on their walkthrough at the station. Compaired to the general attiere of suits and gray cameramen I was definetly a illuminator with my colorful day-pack, bumming past in my newly attaind quickslivers slippers. Maybe these won't get stolen as fast as my "brand" ones. Then again it is a totally plausible to expect slipper thives to be illitarete. Maybe I have to take care of these anyway.
"Mafa la" as they say here in Singapore. (originally an Chinese expression of boring but is also used as an expression of tiring in Malaysia and Singapore)

The easiest way to get around on a budget is using the MRT and the Buses. If visiting for more than a day or two I'd recomend getting a electronic ticket card that you can top up instead of single tickets. It's a few dollars more expensive but it's very nice to have. Specially when there are lines to the ticketing machines or on buses where you otherwhise need exact change. One of these cards can be aquired through any ticket counter at the MRT.

On the topic of public transportation though the neighboring countries could really pick up a few hints. Besides having a modern transportation system where people actually manages to get on and off, most of the time, they also exhibit a range of maps and other services that makes life easier getting around. The best part is however the ridiculeous zealously when it comes to signs and telling pople what to do. It is quite obvious it's a Chinese run state. Like a Chinese parent who likes you and wants to take care of you, like the little child you are. The singaporian government kindly explains where to go, where to eat, where to sit, where to stand, how to stand, where not to stand and a whole range of other funny things all within box life.

Like a good parent the singaporian government also want to make sure you don't speak no evil, hear no eavil or do no evil. Providing free wifi in most public places is the wireless@sg wifi network. To register one has to have a local number in most cases. To aquire a local number one needs to buy one and registering it with ones passport at the same time. It is possible to register a user with a forign number at certain location. One of these is the changi airport. So if you are ever around it might be a good idea to take care of this before you leave the airport. The cheapest prepaid phone number is 8 dollars and can be provided by either Starhub or Singtel. In most shops these are "sold out" but I'm not sure if it's only cause of the very "limited edition" of these allegedly existing cards. The more comon ones are the 15 and 18 dollar ones.

I recently heard of a Swedish guy and a Chinese girl who studied in Singapore. Getting a bit too drunk and loosing a bet they went outside naked for a prank. It's a good thing that the Singaporean government didn't overreact and only kicked them out of the country. I mean, such heinous criminal acts should at least been met with some caning.. Good thing they never caught me, Mowhaha.

Barefoot in the rain

Playing around with my pink balls, well not my balls. They where in fact Sandra's balls. Not usually pink but on fire the more professional name would be "Poi". Anyway, time has to be spent somehow and playing with ones balls is not a bad way to do it. This post is however not about balls. Not only anyway. As I was lounging around with my balls, waiting for my dive. As usual, I got chatting with some random people.This post is however not about these random people, not only anyway. What I learnt from these random people was that it was July 13.

I know what you're thinking now. Snap, damn, shit and a little crackle and pop on the side. Right?

I'll explain. I left KL city on a Friday looking to get away from the city, despite my appreciation for after works. Two days of diving at the Perhentians seemed like an excellent option. I decided to stay. Then I woke up and it was in fact today, which turned out to be a whole bunch of days later. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with friends in Singapore.

Well having a couple of hours (3) before the last ferry (read small speedboat normally fit for 6 people or so) it was the obvious conclusion to do a last dive at pinnacle. I mean all I had to do was.

• Pack
• Check out
• Exchange money, since I had ran out of MR and there is no ATM on the island
• 
  Get a taxi boat out to the ferry
• Pay for my dives
• Say bye to all my homies on the island

I did manage to do the most of these things. Get to the dive site. Well we got a little delayed picking up a diver from the big island. Actual Diving Time; Pinnacle: 65 minutes. Getting there and back. Normally 30 minutes. With a delay getting there and spotting dolphins on the way back. 100 minutes. Exchanging money: Fail. The money dude was gone. Emergency cash advance from the dive shop. 10% fee. 5 minutes. Getting to my accommodation, packing and checking out 10 minutes. Saying the good byes: big fail. Swift bye to a few peeps 30 sec. Running to the taxi boat 15 sec. Just barely seeing the "ferry ride off in the sunset" 30 sec.

That's how it went down.
Despite this, life usually works out in the end. There are always some small mountains to climb and rivers to cross on life's path but how boring would life bee without em. Somehow ended up walking around barefoot in "Tanaha Merah". In search of new flip flops I was in a strange pleasant mood. Getting hustled by a couple of island for a small part of my life was all in all a pleasant experience and who knows, maybe they haven't seen the last of me yet.

Tomorrow I'll be waking up in Singapore and the city life. This time around I'll have a different arsenal of resources to explore it. Yes, you guys are absolutely right. I'm bringing a damn good tan and new flip flops. Singapore, Watch out.

Lost flip flops

My first day at the Perhentians was kicked off with a early morning wait after arriving with the night bus from Kuala Lumpur. Price 40 MR

Having to chill out at the pier area at way too early a clock in the morning, there is only one things to do. Find some roti. Roti is a flat bread that resembles naan and pankakes in shape. It also resembles croasants in the way the dough is prepaired. What I am refeering to is when you fold the dough and laminate it with layers of fat each time. Obvilosly it's not ready untill it's properly fried. It's not bad for breakfaskt and not too unhealthy if you compare to a lot of other western breakfasts. Roti Kosong (empty bread, with no special add ons, observe that it comes with a small side of curry), Kopi Kosing/hitam/tida pake gula (just black plain coffe) and 100Plus, a sports drink. Price 7MR

Roti Kosong is also available in a range of variations like banana, condensed milk, egg and other various things.

Worth noticing here is the way too long name for plain coffe. This is because it is necessary to spesify that it's without milk, sugar and other add ons. So what you say is empty coffe, black coffe and coffe with no added sugar. If this is overlooked you will recieve a coffee containing the following.

• Sugar 20%
• Coffee 10%
• Water 20%
• Condensed Milk 20%
• Palm Oil 20%
• More Sugar 10%

This type of coffe is in all purpouses undrinkable unless you are used to it. Specially on those rare ocasions when the nearly indestructable consensed milk/palm oil mix has spoiled. Yes it happens.

Finally on our way to the islands under a cover of gray clouds I start to wonder if this really is the island life I wanted to return to. Was it all a gloryfied dream that my mind creted to avoid the through of rain and wind every day. After all my time in Thailand did contain more than it's fair share of storms and cold rain. The landing site for our little invasion was a small beach on the big island. Boatride return ticket included, Price 70 MR. Where our little dive shack, (Turtle Bay Divers) leaned against the far end of the beach.

I consider diving here to be ok. Not bad but not great either. The Thai diving can easily compare to diving here. Well not dive factories like koh tao but Lanta and it's surrounding area is definitly in the same class if not better. And from my personal experience saba with places like sipadan is defintly way better. So if you intend to dive Malaysia. Dive Borneo. But for taking your licence the perhentians is a excelent location. Diving the Perhentians, Price 60-70 RM

Day two ninja striked my face with a beutiful sunrise and a sunny day. Having lunch at the little island, the islands dropped it's burka and revield it's true nature of beach bumming, diving and nothingness. As the hour of the retun aproaches I decide to stay here for a while. After all I did lose my flip flops and if I go back I'll never find em. Losing flip flops, Priceless.

Help Wanted; strong hands needed

Are you a inspired and diligent worker that wants to interact with people and service the community? We offer a career where you get to work on your interpersonal skills as well as keep fit on a every day basis. You will also have the added benefit of travel as you will be working in close relation to Kuala Lumpur transportation.

We are looking for people with a good work ethic who are eager to engage people and clients. You should be of average or bigger size, work out regularly. Having a smile in your arsenal is considered a merit.
Possible previous employments are:

• sumo wrestler
• line guard
• wrestler
• sales person

if you are chosen for this position you will have the title of transportation optimizer. You work will mainly concern the maximisation of cargo and clients for logistical purposes.

Send your CV now to subwaypusher@jobsinkualalupur.com

This is what I felt the transportation system in Kuala Lumpur needed today. Subway pushers aren't something new and they can be found in places as Tokyo where white gloved men will make sure as many passengers as possible will get on the trains during rush hours.
Kuala Lumpurians are different though. As Japanese commuters instinctively move along in the carts and squeeze in to let other people on board the Lumpurians do almost the opposite. Chaotically bustling in random directions, sometimes completely opposed to logic there are often giant deserts of space while people are standing on top of each other, in 15 layers! OK maybe not but that is the feeling of it. Keep in mind that the public transportation system here is actually operational and working most of the time in difference to a vast number of countries. Many states of the US being in the list of non operational ones. Just try taking a buss there.

Transportation is cheap though. This is especially true when considering the value you get for what you pay.

Monorail will cost you about 1-3
Trains around 4 in the city
Taxi starts at 3 and the usual ride will cost about 10 or so.

All prices in Malaysian Ringit.

KL lacks the vast variety of transportation of other cities in the South East Asian region. I say this is for the better. Still they need to implement a more efficient way of adapting capacity during hing and low demand. In other words; Subway pushers for the win!

The People of the After Work

Nightlife in KL is best kicked off with a after work in my opinion. Starting the night with a few cold ones to keep the humid heat at bay en enjoying some good company. The people of the after work are a expat and business oriented crowd. It consists largely of:

• Europeans and Americans
• Chinese Business People
• serial-cultural empyed locals

Europeans and Americans have a culture of after work and happily donates large chunks cash for the perks of sin taxed alcoholic beverages. Not only do they provide a physical cooling sensation but also loosens the nots in ones shoulders after a hard day at the office. But more than shoulders are loosened. Yes tongues are loosened as well and it's during after works (AWs) that a lot of stories are told. If you want to get the lay-down of a bunch of random things just sit down at a bunch of random tables close to a bunch of random expats and listen in on their stories. Sometimes quite entertaining and sometimes apparently quite inviting. A buddy of mine and his company was randomly approached at an AW by people looking to recruit. It's a place where business and pleasure kind of blends together and you never know when you will meet one of those friends of yours that might not be the best to introduce to your business partners.

Chinese hare are quite similar actually. Although from what I've heard their conversations seem to tend to stick to business related topics a lot more. And when they don't they are often filled with wisdom's related to business. In fact the Chinese here are very business oriented. Sometimes in a quite hilarious way. I recently heard about the Sun Tzu's art of war applied in business approach. And spectacularly the small snippets of "wisdom" and how they are proclaimed in lose statements and how to's are sometimes not too far away from conversations at after works. Exchanging experiences in the Chinese business life can be quite interesting. Non related but worth a read is A story of zen. Naturally these are not the only conversations but they are the more notably conversations. Another interesting thing here is how they have trophy wives and girl friends very openly and which is sometimes seen as a status symbol. Sitting there without joining in in the conversation I'm not sure a European expat would bring that trophy girl to this gathering.

Joining these two groups are locals employed by foreign or international companies that have gotten used to this type of corporate and social culture. Many of which are serial-cultural employees. And to define that term that means people taking job after job in companies from a certain nationality or with a specific corporate culture related to one. One can see many people working for one Swedish company and then another and then another.. I'm not quite sure where to put these guys. Sometimes being more western than not and sometimes still being very local. Mostly being very western. Maybe that says something about the importance of corporate culture and how it can be more dominating in ones life than the cultural area and sphere one inhabits during off hours...

The mark of home, "uteservering"

There are few times I miss my native Stockholm. Summer time is one of those times when I consider it to be a world class destination for awesomeness. A warm, clean city on water rivaling any city in the world in terms of beauty. Ice free and light all 24h of the day. Beautiful women walking around and fantastic beers served in our "uteserveingar" or outdoors chill-out places and cafes.
Just having a cold one, enjoying the warmth, the sun and maybe the company even is truly a treasure of back home.
Finding these places abroad makes me smile and feel like I'm home, almost. At least if you combine it with Ikea and some crispbread it's just as home. In KL the outdoor chill paces serving good beer are few in comparison. It could have something to do with the air conditioning addiction being extensively spread through the ranks of Asian citizens. There are however some. So all you swedes out there that are just like me don't despair. Get a beer and relax in KL

the Ninjas Are Everywhere

winklerdaily.com

Putting my dirty flip flops on Malaysian soil I was eminently greeted with a small walk to the main terminal. In KL Air Asia has it's own airport a little bit away from everything. This is quite a normal thing. What was less normal was the amount of ninjas I spotted spotting me. It was not without trouble I bobbed and weaved to stay clear of their sneaky sneaky ways. Although they weren't that good at sneaking around at all.
I'm my elusive tactics I utilized the non regular buss to get to KL sentral. This is the place from where the airport buses will take you to the Air Asia airport or the monorail can take you into the city.
Only a few monorail stops away lay safety, my couch in KL with by Swedish buddy. This was my belief until I discovered the hordes of ninjas that surrounded Beryaya Times Square, my temporary headquarters. They where there in all shapes and sizes. Short, shorter, slim, round, slow, fast, surprisingly sometimes with colorful high heals underneath the black garments and usually carrying ninja-packs for their ninja tools. Usually these ninja packs say Gucci, Prada, Armani or something like this on them.

Malaysia is a prime destination for middle eastern Arabs who like many others enjoy the climate, low prices, good verity and religious homieness. Malaysia is a Islamic state despite only having 60% Malay (these are the people who are mainly Muslim.) the other big communities here are Indian and Chinese. Regardless the Arabs see it as quite close to paradise away from home. For the women there is great shopping to be done without having to be regarded as totally alien, even though they do look like ninjas who forgot to use a belt sometimes. I wonder what came first the ninja or the modern day Burka?
For the Malay the Arabs means, monies! It's not strange when they pretty much get's it handed to them from the government back home. If fact there are laws that require you to employ arabs when you run a company in many middle eastern states. When you do, they often don't do anything and end up being sent home since they are more in the way than not. Still they get better payed than the people who actually perform the jobs. Like the Nepalese, Bangladeshi or others. So well payed often without doing much they come to Kuala Lumpur to have fun. Often is during the Arab holidays that the great sales of Kuala Lumpur starts. This means it's also a great time for you to shop.

An interesting thing is that when Arab men travel alone to Malaysia the first thing they usually want to see are the brothels. It's time to pick up some prostitutes. Mind you this is nothing I'm making up but seen or know from reliable first hand sources that work with Arabs coming here (no it's not the prostitutes). What does that tell us about absolute and strict rules of behavior in society as a shaper of minds. Well it seems that it makes the mind more prone to just the things that is so harshly forbids. Depraved of sensual stimulation and untrained to cope with the availability of it, they go wild when presented with options. Like kids in a candy store...

Binge with a capital M

Those of you being families with Indonesia will know that there are some difficulties going to the movies there currently. When I first arrived I was way excited to go to the movies properly. The island in Thailand where I had spent my previous two months was too small to host a movie theater so I was looking forward to the big screen in Jakarta.  I was up for a surprise though. No big time movies where available. Apparently Hollywood had decided to not ship movies any more. But why!?
Turns out that the Indonesian government, always in need or tax money or bribe money decided to put some extra taxes in for the foreign movies. They claimed it was money that was going to support the domestic movie industry. Which by the way is in horrible condition. Movies made 15 years ago are way better than the crappy horror comedy (comedy part non intentional) movies that air today. They are so bad that parts of Indonesia ban then when they showcase their area in them. It seemed to be much confusion about what taxes or fees had in fact been put on these importers of movies. Eventually people seemed to conclude that if was a extra tax put on all distribution, which makes up of a very large part of movie costs in Indonesia.
I guess that's one way to really encourage pirating DVDs and downloading. I mean if it's the only way to watch movies that's what people will do. Good job Indo government.
Anyway getting out of J-town and flying to Kuala Lumpur, with a brief stop over in Bali, I'm again in a nation which likes movies. And not only are they available here, they are cheap too. There are also a range of different classes of movie theaters. The most interesting one being "gold class". Gold class is a theater class with really big and comfy sofas that serves food and drinks during the cinematic experience. of course the air con is way cold and thus you have blankets to boot.
So far I've seen Transformers 3D, the Green Lantern and X-men. Will definitively have a look at what else is available over here. Movie Binge here we go!

Fast and Sandy

Bali is a place where you live the dream or maybe it just seems so as you are covered in purple haze. It's a place in Australia where people form all over the world go to forget, to adventure and live. Great surf and good weather is what drew this particular traveler here. I was well prepaired with flip flops and board shorts as I took on the challange of Bali.

Managing to surf for two days, Sleep (passing out totally counts) in five different places in three nights, riding around lost on my motorbike a whole night, clubbing, eating lots of good food, befriending the local surfers, a Czech surf community, chilling with Russians, do some shopping and even get some pictures of it I have to say I got the most out of my stay.

I'd like to give some estimations of what tings might cost you. These are not the prices I paid  but I think they are what you can use as an estimate

• Motorbike 50K Rp a day
• Housing 50-150k Rp a day
• Food and drinks (non alcoholic) 60K rp a day (3 Indonesian meals) 150K Rp for western food
• Surboards 40K an hour
• Taxi from the Airport 50K
• Taxi to the airport, meter + 5K
• Fake brand sunglasses 25K

Let me know if there are any other prices you might want

Have fun in Bali guys

Patches In a sea of blight

I've many times been told of the Scandinavian design wonder. The furniture, the product design and how famous we are for it. Myself, I did study product design engineering as well as some at art school back in Stockholm. It's quite  strange to say this, since I never really use any of those skills. They have been rusting for so long I'm not sure if the're still there. Well the computer aided part is. I dunno about the rest.
Anyway. So far I only heard about the nice traditional craftsmanship and artwork in Indonesia, the origin of Batik. But what I find more interesting are the little patches, containing explosions of design passion in a vast landscape of gray blight, that is Jakarta.

These patches of insight in a sea of blight are usually cafes or restaurants that someone put in more than a tad of effort in designing and decorating with artwork. I came to this realization after hanging out in a photo and printing area which was as dull as dishwater. Finding a cafe on the third floor that radiated with color and coziness made me realize that in Jakarta where restaurants, clubs and cafes pop up like weed and die out just as fast is a extremely interesting place for one who likes experiments in design and interior decorating. I think one could spend a lifetime here always finding new interesting places.

If you don't have too much time to spend wandering the odd streets in J-town you can actually get a quick look at some of the nice designs at the Malls otherwise not so appreciated by me. Well, except for the food which also comes in a nice variety.
A better way is to ask a local. But you need to ask someone of the middle class or up. Your general street thug won't give much insight here, sadly. You will however maybe get to chill out at the warkop (from Warung Kopi). A bicycle coffee stall containing a big thermos of coffee, in it's simplest version. Not a bad way to go all in all. The best way is to find some gay people. They will know what's up in this area.

Death to all the Humans; the BBM aproach.

Love it or hate it. It's definetly conquered Indonesia just as many others before it. The Dutch wanted the spices, The Japanese wanted an empire, the Arabs wanted their minds and BBM wants their souls. In no other culture have I seen such a profound glitch in human relations as caused by BBM. It's like nothing I've ever seen before. It leaves men, women and sometimes even children apathetic to the realities around them. The semi glazed over eyes as they make a stint of an effort trying to break the BBM trance state as one tries to contact them while BBMing.

For those of you who does not know what BBM is. It is the Black Berry Messenger, and application that enables cheap text messages to me fired upon the people unfortunate enough to have started to create relations with you or sometimes also the ones that have strategically tried not to.

Their slogan goes it's like they're right next to you. The reality goes, it's like they're not right next to you.

Ok now you're thinking how bad can it get. Well I'll take an example of the BBM influence on dating. If on a date you or I might be familiar with it's maybe one with not too many phone calls or maybe even a turned of  phone.. I'll try to Illustrate the acceptance these disconnections with reality have approached. I've chosen to use and form of human interaction which normally requires some larger part of ones consciousness to engage in the activity to better demonstrate the state of human to human interaction degradations without and interface to translate. The situation is a Date.

The different curves display examples of BBM activity in percentage of total attention to the BBM machine. Each color ha a label showing how well you are doing during the date with that type of BBM disruption pattern.

Above you can see the activity over time for three separate timeline and below is a better experimentation for total activity over time and how it's distributed. The area covered by the curve would be the time times activity. 

This example is just to show you to what devastation this technological virus has struck Indonesia. But why is it hitting Indonesia so hard while it's not at all as prominent in other cultures? America had it first.. There only the business people have it. In a world otherwise ruled by the all mighty Apple in the sky, using design and interaction design to brainwash this is and interesting phenomenon. Regardless this seemingly very high tolerance for being disconnected from reality or maybe need to be connected digitally might make other extreme techosocial experimentation "fun" in Indonesia.

Either way it seems as this necessity and dependency on their BBM enabling devices are in fact making, well not Androids but maybe the worlds first real Cyborgs. Part man, part machine they need both parts to survive..